"1. Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. 2. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. 3. He forgives all of my sins and heals all of my diseases. 4. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. 5. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle's."
Hey friends!
Before I jump in, I want to share with you that after experiencing a journey of curiosity as to what specific thing God has in store for me and how to use my talents that HE gave me, I found a passion so deep within my core for...marriages. Faithfully, I began as a volunteer coach within the church for pre-marital or already married couples. Here's where my story begins with my very first couple that God placed in front of me to coach. Boy, it was a doozy and it could've scared me right back to fear in ever doing that again. But, it didn't. It was beautiful.
I was already informed of the pre-assessment that was given for this couple from my pastor. I had prayed for this day to come and for God to deliver me from myself and place nothing but the Holy Spirit within me speaking clearly through me throughout this journey with them. I had prepared all 5 weeks ahead of time for this one day. Next, enters (the couple).
As they walk in and we meet, I immediately felt love and compassion towards them both. They were in fact still the couple that they, before God, had said their covenant vows to. They still looked so in love but extremely wounded. I did find out that there had been a period of adultery within the one year of marriage that had taken place. After getting to know each other and feeling more comfortable with one another, I was hopeful by what appeared to be their love. Love for one another. Hopeful for healing.
In the beginning of the 5 week session to which we would meet once a week, plus a few phone calls, emails, text, homework that I'd sent home, I finally found myself where I could ask a question. Not just a question, but THE question. I said to the wife, "have you forgiven your husband for what took place?" As she grabbed his hand, with elephant tears streaming from her beautiful face she says, "yes, yes I have forgiven him." He sat there with a big smile on his face while looking at her. Next, I said to him, "have you forgiven yourself for what you did?" He then stopped, looked at me, then drew his eyes to the side to say, "well, I mean, I'm getting there, just still dealing with what I've done to her and to our marriage." Almost in an attempt to keep that wall up because he didn't seem to know what to do from there.
We discussed so many things throughout the amazing series of, "From This Day Forward" to which my pastor, Craig Groeschel spoke to our church and now he and his wife Amy have written a book on. GET IT for your marriage or future marriage! It is what we choose to go through for coaching and it changes lives and marriages! Restoration begins!
After many weeks pass with restorative sessions together with my sweet couple, something continued to tug at me. I had seen tears, emotions that were raw. We went over ways to refrain from reliving this event, talked about tools to use in preventing Satan to enter into his house and work, praying over each other and with each other, and even how to DATE YOUR SPOUSE no matter how long you've been married or how many children you have at home. Something was still tugging at me until I shut up and allowed the Holy Spirit to speak up and OUT through me.
Week 5 came and while sitting with them again, I gathered my things to go over for that hour (wrapping up the session really) and then abruptly stopped to look at the husband. It was a kind of awkward moment, not gonna lie. It was coming….I just knew it.
While sitting there holding each other's hands as they often did, I looked at him and asked him again saying, "well, all I want to know is have you truly forgiven yourself yet?" Silence. Powerful silence. What happened next was simple, Jesus. The man who once felt free to do so many things in life appeared as a captive in the bondage of forgiveness and I could see it but he was fighting it and he quite possibly didn't know how to be freed by it. Tears fell from his face and it was pure joy for me because I knew what was happening. Jesus was there, wiping his tears. God was present, in the center again. The Holy Spirit was freeing him and the healing began.
His face began to swell and turn red and then God took HIS child and released him of all the bondage satan was using to tear him down and keep him from forgiving himself for doing those things to his wife who he knew was sent to him from God. I witnessed the power of the Holy Spirit in a way that I will never forget. It's as though I watched his sins be lifted from him and literally washed away forever. The amount of freedom and hope that came over him after admitting that he still hadn't forgiven himself was humbling. We sat there and prayed for him and with him to be delivered from the bondage that once had a hold of him so tightly that he was suffocating and affirmed him of the very God who created him loves and adores him and wants the very best for him and his marriage. He was MADE NEW again. So was his marriage. His wife fell in love with him in a new way. He fell in love with God and with his wife in a new way. God is love. Their marriage is restored.
This particular couple have found that instead of being victims of what once happened, they are sharing what happened as their story and journey to help other marriages who are going through or have been through the same things. They have seen that by not hiding what took place, they are allowing God to USE them to help other marriages see hope through Christ. God is their center. Their #1 is God and they are each other's #2.
During this "first" for me with coaching, was the most memorable, beautiful, sad, hopeful, humbling thing to ever walk through with someone.
I just know that I want to be used. Used by God. I am honored that God used me that day for His Glory. I don't ever want to NOT be used by Him. Honored that I was able to witness the power of healing that only my savior can provide. Forgiveness is a big deal. We all have or are struggling with it now. It could be a deal maker.
Have you forgiven…..you?
